On the dark GT highway
Pagdi Patka in my hair
Warm smell of some dhabas
Rising up through the air

Up ahead in the distance
I saw a tharra joint
My head grew heavy
And my sight grew dim
I must have drunk over a pint

There he stood in the drive way
I heard his truck helper yell
And I was thinking to myself
This had to be
Devidner Singh Behl (ROTF LMBO)

Then he belched and scratched his head
And he was on the highway
And the other drivers leaning
from the truck car doors
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Vaddi changi place
(Vaddi changi place)
Message, manicure, pedicure
At Karnal-a-fonia
Any kind of ear
(Any kind of ear)
You can clean it here

His car grill was definitely twisted
He's got a Maruti Zen
He's got a lot of petty petty MLAs
Whom he calls friends

Dancing bhangra in the courtyard
See sardarji sweat
Some dancer is this Devinder
Armpits stinking wet

So I told the bell captain
I's made a reservation online
And he said 'Oye khoteyya...
Our internet hasn't worked... since 1999'

And still those srivers were calling
From the driveway
Woke me up in the middle of the night
I know I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Itthey karlo rest
(Itthey karlo rest)
Aish karo at the Hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Kudi umr bees
(Kudi umr bees)
Will serve you nice

Daler on the ceiling and on the walls
In every guise
And waitresses dressed like actresses,
From flicks of Subhash Ghai's.
And in the downstair canteen
I sat down for my meal
Butter chicken and sarson da saag
Had a shock when they showed me the bill

Looking for help I saw Devinder
Dancing wildly on the floor
I had to find my hostess back
Oh where is this Gurpreet Kaur?

'Relax' said Milkha Singh
Play golf with my son Jeev
Tu ban gaya Punjab da puttar
Now you can't ever leave

(JAM Mag, March 14)