I can't remember what I was like, a month ago. I can't remember what I used to do, what I used to think and what my perception of things used to be like. My identity has been bludgeoned into oblivion.

It is a strange predicament. I can't remember me anymore.

Linkin Park - Don't Stay

Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just gimme myself back and
Don't stay

---

I need a diversion of thought. Something new to preoccupy me. A new interest or hobby. Like a guitar. Which I could play all day long. To keep myself busier. To divert my energies. To play it all day long. So much so that my fingers start to bleed.

And then, the physical pain would be greater than the mental agony. And that pain would become my new preoccupation.