Nothingness

The Economics paper today wasn't the stuff dreams are made of.
CAT on Sunday was the stuff nightmares are made of.
The Symbi results were declared yesterday.
Today the first list of pass-outs did not have my name on it.
The events leading upto that were frustrating and annoying.
Mom was writhing all evening in pain with a stomach ache from hell.
Heard that Neel's dad had a horrible road accident in the morning.
Hit by a bloody Ambulance, of all vehicles.

Multiple fractures. Skull damaged. Clot in head. Would be under observation for 72 hours.
Precariously placed, right now.

Neel came to my home a while ago. Speaking barely choking back tears. I can't understand the trauma he must be in right now, considering that he also has his XII CBSE starting first week in March. Sitting next to him, I felt a lump in my throat too. Clearly, it compounded the misery that has been this day.

Told Neel not to not lose his focus and be positive.
May God give the kid the strength he needs right now.

Clearly, too many things have gone wrong today.
I felt like shedding a tear or two. But couldn't. Why don't I? Why can't I?
It's been over 2 years now since I last broke down and cried.
Over 5 years since anyone last saw me cry.

Hands still tremble as I write this. A million thoughts crowd my head.
With all that, you reach a point where you start asking questions to yourself such as who you are and why you're here.

Today wasn't easy to survive. Actually, it's still not over.
But tomorrow, I wanna get up and kick some ass.
Lump in throat or not.

I'll be praying for Neel and his Dad.